May 11, 2020 – The Day Governor Wolf Lost Control of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania

Thank you Prince Law. many of us have been thinking about these very things, but you have the credentials to put validity upon this thinking. Thanks again.

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May 11, 2020 will go down in history as the day the Governor Wolf lost control of the state.

In a series of statements today, Governor Wolf called the counties seeking to reopen against his wishes “cowardly.” He stated that businesses who reopen against his wishes could face loss of licenses, certificates of occupancy and insurance on their properties.

First, I take great offense to the Governor calling the county leaders cowardly. Questioning authority is never cowardly. This country was founded on the founding fathers questioning authority. Nearly every innovation that this Country has ever made was based on someone questioning authority, and saying “I can do it better.” Governor Wolf does not seem to understand that his program for reopening the state is based on a series of educated guesses. There is no scientific consensus as to the procedure for reopening, which is why no two states and no…

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While Mary Ann lay in the hospital bed on or about Day 15 of the beginning of her journey, I sat with her, just off to her right side on a chair. Up until about 10 PM on the evening of March 7, 2014, we talked while Mary Ann had a strange feeling that she did not share with me.

It was the last time that she would see me completely from that vantage point.

The next morning when I came back to her room, she told me that something was not right, that she felt strange, and could not see well. I was concerned and summoned the nurse.

As a result, we discovered that Mary Ann had suffered an occipital lobe stroke. Physicians were called, examinations were performed and our suspicions were confirmed.

The stroke affected short-term memory and vision.

I remained at the hospital that night and a second night. During that time, Mary Ann had discomfort, but we did not know to call a night nurse to tell her of the symptoms that Mary Ann was experiencing. We had never been dependent upon the medical system, had not been hospitalized and did not know that we should bother a nurse.

My previous experiences in the hospital in the 1970s were of nurses and physicians who were too busy and dismissed the non medical. These were not pleasant people. I saw my grandparents and other older adults being mistreated in medical facilities due to incompetence, under staffing and other problems. I was determined to not allow Mary Ann to enter a nursing home, as had been threatened earlier in the stay.

While the nurses and physicians at this hospital were very nice, and the services excellent, I took charge of Mary Ann’s care, making certain that she was comfortable and received what she needed. I retrieved her pillows, blankets, water, applied creams, turned her and did everything needed to make certain that she came home in good condition.

So, having been trained and conditioned to be totally independent, I never called for help. After all, would 911 call 911? Of course not. Other people called me. I never ever called for help. I was “911”.

Of course, I did rely upon God, as we had had a conversation on Tuesday, Day 5, when I gave it up and allowed God to handle my concerns. That is another story.

But, in my day-to-day life, I was 911 and did not comprehend the weaknesses of others. I helped but was never really compassionate, as I had no understanding of compassion at that time.

So, how would I know to ask for help from a nurse. And after living with me for over 40 years, my wife did not know how to ask either. We needed to be trained how to be patients and how to become dependent.

The last 19 or so months, God has been teaching us many things. Mostly, I am the one who has needed the education. I am learning to become interdependent with others, not independent of everyone.

I have learned that I was an advocate for my wife before God, that I must ‘Stand in the Gap’ for her. God showed that to me on Day 5 of her ordeal. It was then that I realized that I had been a ‘Burden Snatcher’, and a ‘Willfully Self Centered Person’. More on those topics in another post.

God was using my wife’s circumstances to get to me; to change me, to make me more like He wanted me to be.
Have you been the 911 in your life? Have you been so Independent that you have believed ONLY in Yourself? Have you discounted Jesus Christ because you did not want to be seen as weak? Did you know that “Control is an Illusion?”

Hospital Musings

As I sit here in a darkened hospital room listening to my wife of almost 42 years begin to sleep, I thank the Lord Jesus Christ for pursuing us both. I am grateful that He overtook me and then my wife, Mary Ann.

Life is a gift and the knowledge gained in the last month is an even bigger gift. We have embarked upon a struggle between life and death, between Trust in Christ and the Will of God and human efforts to control events, circumstances and people.

This blog is about the realization that “Control is an Illusion” and that I have entered a new phase of my life.

Valentines Day 2015 and beyond

Over the last 15 months, I have traveled a new trail in this journey of life.  My wife has entered a phase of health concerns that we have never before experienced.  I find that I love her more than ever and that I have become kind and patient.

I have also discovered compassion, something that had been hitherto unknown to me.  I am at the beginning of ‘Something New’, the Third Half of my Life and these writings are the musings of this traveler.

In a sudden way, my wife became symptomatic of the ravages of Type 2 Diabetes.  In our ignorance and failure to comprehend, we were shocked to discover, suddenly, that diabetes can harm the circulatory system of the heart.  Mary Ann’s heart has now been starved of its vital blood supply and oxygen.  Irreparable damage has now occurred and the heart’s task of life support has now been hindered.

Life will be shortened.  Of this, there is no doubt.

We have both played a role and mine has been in a leadership capacity.  I realize the error of my thinking and have shredded many of my mental manuscripts about how life will be lived and the characterization of the players and institutions with which I must now interact.  I have interpreted life incorrectly on many levels.

During these times, I have come to know, in a real way, that “Control is an Illusion” and that we are in the hands of God.

The person of God will be a character in these musings as He has enabled me to be strengthened.

From my chair and table, I look over at her covered form as she sleeps peacefully next to me in her hospital bed, covered in multiple blankets, because of the chilling effects of her medications as a cardiac patient.  I am comforted that she is resting comfortably.

When she enters the hospital, I am with her at all times, interceding, answering questions, tracking her progress and relaying information and insights to her medical caregivers.  I am also encouraging her, reminding her and remaining close to her.

She is precious to me and I maximize my times with her, enjoying her presence, her laughter, her tears, her voice, her sadness, her anger and her love for me.  She is my Life as a human on this planet.

Our Lord God is so Good and He has given me my wonderful wife, Mary Ann.  And I will rearrange my life to accommodate her needs.  This is my feeble attempt to exalt her unto the highest places of Love during a time such as this.