Over the last 15 months, I have traveled a new trail in this journey of life. My wife has entered a phase of health concerns that we have never before experienced. I find that I love her more than ever and that I have become kind and patient.
I have also discovered compassion, something that had been hitherto unknown to me. I am at the beginning of ‘Something New’, the Third Half of my Life and these writings are the musings of this traveler.
In a sudden way, my wife became symptomatic of the ravages of Type 2 Diabetes. In our ignorance and failure to comprehend, we were shocked to discover, suddenly, that diabetes can harm the circulatory system of the heart. Mary Ann’s heart has now been starved of its vital blood supply and oxygen. Irreparable damage has now occurred and the heart’s task of life support has now been hindered.
Life will be shortened. Of this, there is no doubt.
We have both played a role and mine has been in a leadership capacity. I realize the error of my thinking and have shredded many of my mental manuscripts about how life will be lived and the characterization of the players and institutions with which I must now interact. I have interpreted life incorrectly on many levels.
During these times, I have come to know, in a real way, that “Control is an Illusion” and that we are in the hands of God.
The person of God will be a character in these musings as He has enabled me to be strengthened.
From my chair and table, I look over at her covered form as she sleeps peacefully next to me in her hospital bed, covered in multiple blankets, because of the chilling effects of her medications as a cardiac patient. I am comforted that she is resting comfortably.
When she enters the hospital, I am with her at all times, interceding, answering questions, tracking her progress and relaying information and insights to her medical caregivers. I am also encouraging her, reminding her and remaining close to her.
She is precious to me and I maximize my times with her, enjoying her presence, her laughter, her tears, her voice, her sadness, her anger and her love for me. She is my Life as a human on this planet.
Our Lord God is so Good and He has given me my wonderful wife, Mary Ann. And I will rearrange my life to accommodate her needs. This is my feeble attempt to exalt her unto the highest places of Love during a time such as this.
Musings from the Third Half of My Life 